Live from the shag-encrusted confines

by Al Pastor

Coming to you live from the part of Austin where keeping it weird has never required any special effort. . .

Coming to you live from the part of Austin where keeping it weird has never required any special effort. . .

Script

That’s Golf!

Nov. 10, 2013

SportsTalk AM 1300 The Zone

KVET-AM

Austin, TX

USA

(AND, NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.)

NO, IT WON’T BE LONG UNTIL WE GATHER AGAIN AROUND THE TABLE TO WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THE HOLIDAY THAT CELEBRATES TURKEY, “THE OTHER DRY MEAT.”

WELL, MAYBE THAT SHOULDN’T BE THEIR MARKETING SLOGAN.

THIS IS THE 8 0’CLOCK SERVICE. PART OF OUR COMMUNITY SERVICE REQUIREMENT, A PRESENTATION OF SPORTSTALK AM 1300 THE ZONE, AND YOUR AUSTIN AREA COMMUNITY CHURCH OF THE INVETERATE DUFFER. ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO COLLECTIVELY SHARE IN THE GAME THAT REMAINS, DESPITE MAN’S BEST EFFORTS, NO LESS:

  • UNYIELDING,
  • UNFAIR,
  • UNRELENTING
  • UNCOMPROMISING,
  • UNCERTAIN,
  • UNFORGIVING
  • UNBELIEVABLE
  • UNORTHODOX
  • UNPREDICTABLE
  • UNDER-HANDED
  • UNCOOPERATIVE,
  • UNJUST,
  • UNKIND,
  • UNENDURABLE
  • UNREASONABLE…

AND ANY NUMBER OF EXPLETIVES THAT FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS LAW PRECLUDES ME FROM REPEATING, BUT THAT CAN COMMONLY BE HEARD ON FAIRWAYS FAR AND NEAR.

WE’RE COMING TO YOU ABSOLUTELY LIVE FROM THE PART OF SOUTH AUSTIN WHERE KEEPING IT WEIRD HAS NEVER REQUIRED ANY SPECIAL EFFORT. THIS IS, HE SAYS, IMMODESTLY, THE LONGEST-RUNNING GOLF RADIO SHOW IN TEXAS.

THE ENDEAVOR REMAINS TO ENHANCE OUR APPRECIATION AND UNDERSTANDING OF GOLF.

IT WAS SHAKESPEARE HIMSELF WHO PENNED THESE WORDS IN JULIUS CAESAR, ACT FIVE, SCENE 1: “GOOD WORDS ARE BETTER THAN BAD STROKES.” THERE’S A BUNCH OF ALLEGED GOLF REFERENCES IN SHAKESPEARE’S PLAYS. I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

OUR FIRST INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE THIS MORNING COMES FROM GARY PLAYER. HIS BOOK, “THE GOLFER’S GUIDE TO THE MEANING OF LIFE,” LESSONS I’VE LEARNED FROM MY LIFE ON THE LINKS.

TURN WITH ME TO LESSON 8, VERSE 6, THIS INSIGHT ON LAUGHTER. WRITETH THE BLACK KNIGHT:

“THERE IS NO OTHER SPORT THAT GIVES US SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO LAUGH WITH OUR FRIENDS. THE GAME CAN BE SO ABSURD AT TIMES THAT LAUGHTER IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS US FROM GOING INSANE. ONE OF THE FINEST SOUNDS IN GOLF IS ENCOUNTERED WHEN WE ENTER THE GRILLROOM AFTER A ROUND. WHAT WE INEVITABLY HEAR IS THE SOUND OF MEN LAUGHING TOGETHER AT THE FOIBLES OF THE ROUND JUST ENDED. THE LAUGHTER REMINDS US THAT NO MATTER HOW SOLITARY OUR PURSUIT, WE ARE NEVER TRULY ALONE IN OUR FRUSTRATION.” END QUOTE.

PLEASE BE SEATED. THOSE OF YOU IN THE BACK ARE INVITED TO JOIN US. PLENTY OF SEATS UP FRONT.

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