Today on “Nothing to see here” Job listings edition

by Al Pastor

Under: Writing/Editing

Writer Needed to Cover Innovative Trends for Dental Supplies Blog

Do you keep up with the hottest trends in dentistry? Can you write features that dental professionals will consider a must-read? We’re looking to create a blog space that will become known as the “thought leader” for the industry. We’re open to ideas on content — perhaps the newest innovations, essential news or people doing amazing things within the trade. Help us change the preconceived notions that dentistry is boring. To apply, please send a cover letter, resume and 5 potential topics. We look forward to hearing from you.

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I have to be honest with you. In answer to your first question, frankly, no. Not that I doubt that there are diverting, or even innovative trends in dentistry; the same can presumably be said in having something worth crowing about in even the dullest occupations. But, I dunno, “the hottest?” Just asking. Not that I don’t want to make a good first impression, but isn’t this your department? Don’t you know what the “hottest trends” are? Not keeping up, are we? Playing it a little loose as the holidays draw near?

Your second question? Look, I don’t know know many dental professionals, again being frank, not socially any way, though I have heard stories, even some you starched shirts would consider very much so a “must read.” But, again being frank here, what exactly do you mean by a must-read? Are you implying that dental professionals are not keeping up with events beyond, say, the hottest trends in dentistry? Sounds like some petty jealousy issues.Honestly, judging from the magazines in your waiting room, “must read” takes me to a place I’m not sure I really want to go. Nothing against Highlights for Children, you understand. I’m sure there’s some great reading in there. Let me ask you this: when was the last time you thought about the magazine selection in your waiting room? Frankly, let’s just talk about this whole “must read” thing for a minute…before we go any further.

I’m also a little troubled by the whole idea of your suggestion of ONE omnipotent industry “thought leader.” I’m sorry, but there’s something very sinister about all this. Maybe a little leaking nitrous oxide, hmmm? Again, nothing substantiated, but I have heard stories.

Good to hear you’re open to ideas on content. Again, I’m thinking of the waiting room selection.

Oh, here we go. Hah! Finally, down in the fine print…so you think dentistry is ….boring? Are these YOUR preconceived notions? Doesn’t sound like much of a “thought leader” to me. No thought leader in dentistry thinks dentistry is boring. A little Freudian slip there, fella?

This is good, too. You want five – count ‘em – FIVE – potential topics. Five of the absolutely “hottest” innovative topics going in the chopper game. Since when are we talking? The Civil War? Prohibition?

You look forward to hearing from me, do you? I’ll be back in touch, thought leader.

“Thought Leader No.3, come in Thought Leader #3. Can you read me?”

“This is Thought Leader No. 3. I read you, but I’m busy trying to solve this damn Highlights for Children puzzle but someone spoiled it by starting it in ink.”

“Thought Leader No. 3. Do you have those five sizzling “hot topics” as previously referenced?”

“Listen, you. You tell Thought Leader No. 1 to mind his own business, and come up with his own five hot topics.”

“Thought Leader No. 3, return to dental office immediately for discipline and reassignment.”

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